Another Axe

Hi, Heck here.
We have decided that we will be needing another axe (metal talk for 'guitar' as I told you earlier yeah) player for our live shows, so we are looking for one yeah.
We would prefer another cow member but so far we have not been able to find an axe playing cow.
Ozzy heard about this and said he will try to find a hooman axe player if we have no luck yeah.
Manager Nickles has pretty much finished the schedule for our first tour yeah.
It will start at our farm as I told you before, then go onto 5 cities around the country. It's not a big tour I guess but it's a start yeah!
Our CD is still selling well and the money and hay is pouring in! Lenny still says he will not spend it, bad karma and all that. But Gunther has been going mad! He spent so much recently that he asked Lenny for a loan yeah! But Lenny refused, he reckons giving loans is bad karma too yeah.
Anymoo, Gunther now has the complete series of Space 1999, Bonanza, Battlestar Galactica, The Goodies, Dr. Who, Ren and Stimpy, The Onedin Line, Ultraman, Fawlty Towers, The Incredible Hulk, and the A-team on DVD! I won't even list the movies he has bought yeah!
On top of that he bought a 60inch wide screen digital TV and awesome surround sound system yeah. Sometimes Ozzy comes over with calm juice and sushi and we have a great time! Last night we watched 'This is Spinal Tap'...Ozzy really enjoyed that yeah!
We are thinking of giving ourselves stage names but so far we can't think of anything...it's tricky yeah!
Well I will go, Ozzy just arrived with calm juice and Quiche, and says he wants to watch 'Evil Dead' tonight! YEAH!!
See you around!

Lenny

Hi, Heck of the Cow Bros here.
Recently we have noticed quite a change in Lenny.
He is taking this whole Tibetan buddhism thing really seriously yeah.
He insists on meditating, or what he calls 'Gom', for 30 minutes before and after band practise, which is okay with Gunther and I but it is a bit weird yeah?!
He also wants to introduce new instruments like a Cow bell and flute but we just can't get them to work with our songs...we are a metal band yeah!
But I must say it has changed Lenny in good ways. He now concentrates hard on his bass playing and he has become really peaceful yeah.
Gunther and I joke that we wanna see him do the rope climbing trick but he just smiles and says 'Po rahng tsen'...no idea what it means yeah.
And to think that a few months ago he had a grass problem!
Anyway, things are going well. We are planning our tour which as you know will start on our farm. We are really looking forward to it yeah.
Well Lenny has almost finished his meditating so I will go. Catch you later yeah!

Our first TV interview

Hi there, Heck of the Cow Bros here.
Recently we did our first TV interview! It was fun yeah!
We were a little nervous beforehand so Manager Nickles gave us what he called 'Calm juice'...it came in a can and was called Heiniken. It tasted funny but it sure did make us calm! We really felt like chatting after we drank it!
So anymoo, here is a transcript of the interview:

Gill Brundy (Interviewer): Hi guys, welcome to the show.
Heck: Hey man yeah!
Lenny: Hey dude!
Gunther. Hey! So your name is Gill Brundy right?
Gill: Yes, that is right.
Gunther: Hey Heck, do you think we can trust this guy??
Heck: I think so...why?
Gunther: There's something fishy about him! Hee hee!
Heck, Lenny, Gunther: (raucous laughter)
Gill: Oh yes, you're Gunther, the clown of the group!
Gunther: No, I am a cow man! MOO MOO! Hee hee!
Lenny: Yeah, MOO MOO MOO
Gunther: MOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Heck: MOO MOO MOO MOOOOOO!
Heck, Lenny, Gunther: (laughter)
Gill: Ah...yeah. So guys, just a few months ago you were 3 calves on a farm and now you are the most talked about band on Earth. How have the last few months been for you?
Heck: Pretty cool yeah.
Lenny: Far out man!
Gunther: Fantast...(shouts towards Bruce Nickles off camera)HEY MANAGER NICKLES! You got any more of that calm juice?? That's darn good stuff!
Lenny: CALM JUICE, CALM JUICE!!
Heck: Gimme that stuff yeah!
Bruce Nickles (off stage): Not right now guys!
Gunther: DANG!
Lenny: RATS!
Heck: Hey Gill, you got any? You look like you need some!!
Heck, Lenny, Gunther: (laughter)
Gill: OK then. So what kinds of problems have you had to overcome, I mean playing in a band can't be easy for a cow!
Heck: Well yeah. We did have to overcome a few problems like modifying our instuments for cow hoofs. My axe, which means guitar in metal speak by the way...
Gill: Yes, I see.
Heck: Yeah man. My axe had to be especially modified, but Manager Nickles did a great job. And we have to travel in the cargo hold of airplanes which is dang cold I tellin' you man yeah.
Lenny: Too right!
Gunther: Hey Gill?
Gill: Yes?
Gunther: Perhaps the hardest part of becoming a band was learning the scales...
Gill: Really?
Gunther: Yeah, too right...I'll bet you didn't need to learn your scales...hee hee!
Heck, Lenny, Gunther: (huge laughter)
Gill: Haha. So ah...
Lenny: Yes Gill?
Gunther: Yeah, what's up Gillman?
Gill: So when will you start touring?
Heck: We will start very soon. We are gonna start off the tour at our farm where it all started.
Gill: Great.
Gunther: Will you come Gilly?
Gill: I might just.
Gunther: You might just what? Hee hee
Gill: Well guys we are out of time. It has been fun talking to you and good luck with your upcoming tour!
Heck: Thanks man. Hey sorry about hassling you man. We all feel kinda funny tonight, must be that calm juice!
Lenny: Yeah, sorry man.
Gunther: Yeah. sorry man.

And that was about it. We weren't ourselves that night yeah.
We took Gill out to a sushi restaurant after and we had a great time. Manager Nickles came along too and no matter how much we tried he would not give us Heiniken again yeah.
The next day we all felt really bad. My stomachs were all queezy and my head hurt real bad.
It must have been the calm juice yeah.
Anymoo, see you around eh?!

Hi there man, Lenny here.
Things have really been happening eh?!
Just a few months ago we were munching on grass and staring at peoples as they drive pass our field, but now we are a mega metal band! Groovy!
Since the album came out things have gone wild! On the opening night we went to a store in Shibuya, Tokyo and had a great time! We met lots of peoples and even some cows that came in from the Japanese countryside to see us...we were so happy to see them. We played a few songs for them and everyone had a great time. It is a great feeling to play music and see people and cows together enjoying it.
My bass playing is pretty good now I reckon. At first I based my playing style on Sid Vicious but I realised quickly that he was a crap bassist, so I based it on Klaus Flouride of the Dead Kennedy's and things worked out better.
Ozzy, that is, Ozzy Osbourne, gave me a life size statue of Anubis, Egyptian God of embalming!! Man I was chuffed to get it! I have admired Anubis for a long time. So he stands next to me on stage at every gig we do!
Recently I read a book about Buddhism, especially Tibetan buddhism and it was far out! So I have started meditating everyday and I swear I have become a better cow for it. You should try it. The first thing I learned is that material possesions are a barrier to having a fulfilling and peaceful life. The other guys in the band are buying up large since we got paid but I will buy nothing...instead I will use my money to go to Tibet and meditate with Khenchen Konchog Gyaltshen Rinpoche
Grand Abbot of the Drikung Kagyu. I can't say his name but he is an inspiration!
I will try to get the other guys to come with me after touring is over but judging from their spending recently I think they won't be into it.
Gunther bought something interesting though. He got the complete series of Twin Peaks...man, what a mind blower!
So I will see you later.
Karma!

Our own blog yeah!

Hi, it's me Heck of the Cow Bros.
As you can see we have our own blog now, cool yeah!
Manager Nickles set it up for us, he is a great manager yeah.
I want to write more but we are really busy practising for our upcoming tour.
If you want to see all of our previous posts you can see them here.
And hey, if you want to write to us just click on the neat comment link below, we would be happy to hear from you yeah.
So see you later yeah.
Groovy!