The Sensimilla mobile

Hi, Heck here.
Sorry for not writing for so long but we have just been so busy and tired recently!
Touring is great but it is hard work yeah.
After the 2 gigs we wrote about before we have done 4 more at various places around the country, so we have been doing alot of travelling.
Manager Nickles organised a modified cattle truck for us to get around in. It's great! Inside it has a sleeping room, a calm juice bar, a practise room, and a jacuzzi! It is airconditioned and has heating too. There is also a space for hoomans yeah. We haved named it 'The sensimilla mobile'. 'Sensimilla' is a Peter Tosh song we all like...not sure what it means but it sounds cool yeah. For some reason Manager Nickles finds it very funny.
In the sleeping room we also have a huge wide screen TV and home theater system...Gunther paid for that! Last night we watched 'Life of Brian'...dang that's a funny movie yeah! Unfortunately there were no cows in that movie yeah.
Anymoo, it is great to get around in the Sensimilla mobile. It has 'The Cow Bros - Udder destruction tour' painted on the side of the trailer in really big letters so we get a lot of attention yeah!
We have had some great gigs and we are all enjoying playing to a live audience. Sometimes athe audience gets a bit rowdy so we threaten to pass gas in their direction if they don't behave! Works every time yeah. Hehe.
Gunther is still blowing up his drum kit at the end of the gig...it costs him a lot but he gets such a kick out of it yeah.
Lenny, Crazy Keni and I have been spending a lot of our spare time writing more songs yeah. We are writing more metal stuff as well as dub. Bad Brains did really well mixing hardcore with reggae so we hope we can do the same with metal and dub. That would be cool yeah. We asked Ozzy for advice about it but he got really confused when we said 'dub'...I don't think he knows what it is yeah!
Well I have to go, I am tired so I'm gonna hit the hay.
See you man.

Cow Bros dub

Helloo there, Lenny here!
Well as you know we had our 2nd gig last Saturday.
It was great, we had a great time and the audience were cool, I could feel their positive karma.
Recently as you know we have been getting into dub. Heck and Crazy Keni have been writing a few songs and we all enjoy playing them. I wrote a dub song called 'Tibetan meditation dub' which incorporates cow bells and chanting, and I think it works well!
Manager Nickles says we have natural talent for music, no matter what kind of music we play. And Ozzy is always telling us we make Black Sabbath look like amateurs!
So we are thinking that maybe our next album will be a dub album. Nothing wrong with being diverse is there?! I will have to meditate about it more but I think it is a good moove! Hee!
You should see Crazy Keni play! He is awesome! His squiggly wigglies are second to none and his dreads look cool when he is chugging (Cow Bros talk for riffing while nodding your head up and down).
Gunther is a great drummer too, and his pyrotechnics are fantastic!
And Heck is a great frontman. He knows how to communicate with the audience and is a great spokesman.
I feel good karma in the Cow Bros future.
Been good talking to you.
Po rahng tsen!

2nd gig

Hey! Heck of the Cow Bros here.
Well, it's been a busy week yeah.
As I said last time we played our 2nd gig last Saturday and it was awesome yeah!
We were a lot less nervous this time and we think we played better. Even Anubis went onstage without a hitch, and he received large cheering yeah!
We played at a small hall in the big city near our farm. Lots of hoomans came but there were only a few cows in the audience. But it was fun even though we couldn't mosh yeah.
Crazy Keni looks really cool nodding his head up and down in time to the music (really fast!), his dreadlocks go all over the place yeah!
Lenny moved around lot on stage and got caught up in the cables a few times.
We decided to drink calm juice while onstage and that certainly helps us play yeah!
Again Gunther loaded his drum kit with explosives, although not as much as last time. It was still quite a blast though. He laughed himself silly again too yeah!
We have a busy schedule coming up, quite a few gigs to go yet.
So we will write when we can yeah.
See you later then yeah.

Our first gig

Hi. Heck of the Cow Bros here.
Well, as you know we had our first gig on Sunday, the start of our tour at Manager Nickles farm yeah.
Man! It was great!
The gates opened at 11:00 am but people were waiting from 4am! And there was a lot of people and Cows yeah!
We sold 2500 tickets but at least 5000 turned up!
Thankfully Manager Nickles was well prepared, he watched 'Woodstock' on DVD so he knew what to do yeah.
We had a big stage at the end of our field and there were separate halves for the cows and the hoomans. Of course cows and people could mix in the mixed field but only really brave hoomans did that yeah!
Anymoo, we had a support band! They were a sheep band called 'The Kim Deal three' and they played some pretty good alternative music. They were some really cool sheep but as there were no sheep in the crowd they seemed really nervous.
So we went onstage at 3:00pm. Beforehand we were all really nervous because we had never played in front of such a big crowd, although Lenny seemed calm yeah. Must be that Tibetan meditation yeah!
First onstage was Anubis. Lenny had a pulley system wired up so that he could go onstage by himself. The crowd seemed really confused as they have never seen Anubis before but when he fell over on a speaker cable and Lenny ran out to pick him up and tripped on the cable too, everyone laughed and cheered yeah!
So the rest of us came on and we all forgot our nerves instantly. The crowd was really good and cheered us.
So we introduced ourselves then played the first song which was 'Udder destruction' yeah.
The crowd instantly started stage-diving, hoomans on left stage, and cows on right stage, with the kamikaze hoomans in center stage with the cows!
It was really cool! I staged dived off right stage a few times and actually got my horns stuck in the ground a couple of times yeah!
Crazy Keni tried too while still playing his axe but it became unplugged so he did it only once.
Anymoo, we played all of the songs off our album plus a couple of dub songs we wanted to try. The two dub songs were 'Gimme Jah', and 'Udder destruction dub'. The crowd reacted well to them so we are keen to write more dub yeah!
We also covered 'Sweet Leaf' by Black Sabbath, 'I was made for lovin' you' by Kiss, 'Do the strand' by Roxy music, 'Superbeast' by Rob Zombie, 'Destroy Babylon' by Bad Brains, 'Mirror in the bathroom' by The Beat, 'Take me home country roads' by John Denver, and 'Police truck' by the Dead Kennedys.
The gig lasted 2 hours and we did 3 encores yeah!
At the end of the last song Gunther yelled out 'take cover' so we dived down and then his drum kit blew to smithereens in the biggest explosion I have ever seen yeah! The crowd laughed their heads off but myself and the rest of the band had the wind knocked out of us by the shockwave yeah! Gunther got up and laughed himself silly!
So that was our first gig yeah!
We were really tired after but we had a great time. The crowd were good and there were no problems, although one hooman who had too much calm juice tried to ride 'El Diablo'. He is a huge bull from the neighbouring farm. The hooman managed to get on his back but the last we saw of him was when he was flying through the air towards the pond...I hope he made it yeah!
After the gig we went to special marquee where there were some special guests waiting to give us a party. All of our cow friends were there along with some record company people, the recording studio guys, The Kim Deal three, and OZZY! We were so glad Ozzy came to see us, we didn't know he was coming so it was a nice surprise yeah.
Anymoo, we had lots of calm juice to drink and food and hay. It turns out that calm juice has another name...beer! I like calm juice better though yeah.
The party went on until 8pm. We wanted it to go longer but there were calves in the next field trying to sleep so we called it a day.
Our next gig is planned for the 16th at the nearest city so we are getting ready for that yeah.
See you then!

Cow Bros tour

Hi there, Lenny of the Cow Bros here.
How are you doing man? We are all good.
As Heck told you a while ago, our first tour begins tomorrow and we are really excited. We will start it at our farm.
We have been practising everyday and reckon we are totally ready. Crazy Keni has learned all of the songs well and we now reckon we sound better than ever with him. He is a cool guitarist, really good at squiggly wigglies and is quite a good showman too. He can play with his teeth and even his tail!
We all really like him and he introduced dub music to us which is really good man!
In fact, Crazy Keni and I have been writing a few dub songs and we all have been playing them. Farmer Nickles says we are good at dub!
My Tibetan meditation is going good too. I feel calm and peaceful and totally at one with nature. You should try it, it's great!
Anymoo, tomorrow is the big day. We are gonna play all of the songs from our album plus a few covers by Led Zepplin, Deep Purple, Twisted Sister, Napalm Death, and of course Black Sabbath.
Apparently 2000 tickets have been sold! Wow! But we are not at all nervous about playing in front of so many people.
Of course Anubis will be there next to me on stage and Gunther said something about explosives...not sure what that is about. Heck says he's gonna stage dive into the crowd and Crazy Keni says he wants to set his axe on fire!
It's gonna be quite a show!
We hope to see you there!
Bye for now.

I am Crazy Keni

Hallo. I am Crazy Keni, from Farmer Suzuki-san's farm in Hokkaido Japan.
I am the new member of The Cow Bros.
Nice to be meeting you.
As you can see, I speak Cow English very well. I learned English from watching TV and DVD movies on Farmer Suzuki-san's farm. Farmer Suzuki-san is a very kind man, he let me watch TV whenever I wanted. So I learned English fast. But we cows are also fast learners too.
Anymoo, while watching TV I learned about music and after seeing a live Led Zepplin concert on DVD I wanted to be a guitarist (Heck tells me I should call guitar an axe...that's funny!). My cow friends all wanted to go snowboarding (Hokkaido has many many skifields) but I practised my axe instead.
Now I think I am good and I think my squiggly-wigglies are neat!
Anymoo, I decided I must form a band but all of my cow friends were not interested and just wanted to go snowboard. What to do?
One day a TV crew came to my farm to see me play guitar...no... axe, and it went on national TV. And who saw it when he came to Japan for a tour?? OZZY OSBOURNE!! Woo! OZZY!!
And I think you know the rest yes.
Now I am 4th Cow Bros member. I am so happy!
Heck, Gunther, and Lenny are cool cows! We are good friends already and I teach them things and they teach me many many things. I teach them judo moves and all about dub music. I learned about calm juice from them...HOO, good stuff!
A few days ago we all went out for new member celebration party and we drank much calm juice. I don't remember much about it but I seem to remember Lenny doing a Highland fling while Heck played Bull fighter with bartender.
I am learning the songs ok and when we play together it is a good sound! Heck says we have a more complete and heavier sound now.
It has been nice talking to you.
Yoroshiku!

New axe

Hi, it's Gunther of the Cow Bros!
We have been really busy lately, getting ready for our tour and finding a new axe...not a real axe, a guitarist! Heehee.
The tour dates have been decided and we will start it on October 10th at our farm. We are really looking forward to it and have been practising our onstage mooves...heehee!
Lenny's thing is his Anubis statue. Heck has been practising his Pete Townesend windmill axe strumming and is getting quite good at it. And I have decided to do a Keith Moon and fill up my bass drum with explosives and blow the crap out of it at the end of the show...it's gonna be great!!
Anymoo, we now have a 4th band member! We had almost given up finding another axe player, either hooman or cow. But just 2 days ago Ozzy called us and said he thought he found someone.
So we auditioned him and he turned out to be a cow from our favourite country...Japan!
His name is Keni Wakatani but he wants us to call him Crazy Keni. He is a really good axe player and is really good at squiggly wigglies (metal talk for guitar solos). He has a strong Japanese accent so we can't understand him sometimes but he is a cool cow...heehee!
At first we just wanted him for gigs only but he really fits in with the band so we asked him to join as the 4th member.
He has these things called Dreadlocks, they look really good. He introduced dub music to us and we really like it. I especially like Tappa Zukie...cool name too!
And hey, have you seen 'Goodfellas'? What a cool movie! And how about 'Magnum P.I.'? I have the entire series on DVD. Next I'm gonna get all of Akira Kurosawa's films on DVD, Crazy Keni recommended his movies.
Anymoo, I have to go, we are going to a calm juice bar to welcome Crazy Keni to the band...dang I like that calm juice!
See you later.